


Name in the sky

by Fionir



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), BokuAka killed me and I loved it, Break Up, F/M, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kuroo is always this nice, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Personal Growth, Reunions, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Volleyball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 21:11:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18169919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fionir/pseuds/Fionir
Summary: “You will go, right?” Yama asked studying the tense expression on his friends face, his own smile dropping a little. “You have to go, Tsukki! This is a once in a life…”“Shut up, Yamaguchi” --- “I think we should… break up.” “Tsukki…” Yama said his voice sounding strangled. “If it’s the distance… I could try and transfer, too. Next semester. I could…” --- “Tsukki…” Yama sighed closing his eyes and trying to keep his voice down. The taller stopped like he’d just been slapped. “This doesn’t change anything.” --- Maybe being apart for a while would be for the best, though Yamaguchi had no doubt in the world that it would hurt like hell. --- “Tsukishima”, he made himself noticed, stunning the other in place and drawing those already hurt eyes onto himself. “Can we talk?” ...





	Name in the sky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blackShadow15](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackShadow15/gifts).



> So, three days ago I heard this song for the first time:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAfAud_M_mg
> 
> I listend to it exclusivly for about 48 hours while building this story from the massive YamaTsuki flash it caused... So this is not quite a songfic... but it kinda still is.  
> I guess it could work without the song, but I will never know... cause I'm still hearing it when I read through it.
> 
> So... enjoy?

_**“I’m** in”, was all Tsukishima said, it was enough to make Yamaguchi choke on his Latte Macchiato anyway.  He coughed it off._  
_“Oh my god, Tsukki, that’s awesome!”, The brunette beamed smiling that smile only Tsuki got to see from him. The blond sipped his espresso, an untouched shortcake still resting on a plate in front of him. “You will go, right?” Yama asked studying the tense expression on his friends face, his own smile dropping a little. “You have to go, Tsukki! This is a once in a life…”_  
_“Shut up, Yamaguchi”, Tsukishima cut him off and stared down at the cake._  
_“I’ll have to move to Tokyo…”_  
_Yama leaned over reaching for Tsuki’s hand underneath the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze._

 

He really missed the feeling of that hand in his… Leaning against a railing up in the stands he couldn’t take his eyes off of his former best friend… more than best friend even.

 

 _ **“This** isn’t working…” Yama squeezed the phone a little tighter, as his friend spoke. “What do you mean?” He asked. He knew what the other meant, he just hoped he was misunderstanding. “I think we should… break up.”_  
_“Tsukki…” Yama said his voice sounding strangled. “If it’s the distance… I could try and transfer, too. Next semester. I could…”_  
_“No”, Tsuki stopped Yama’s attempt of saving this. Saving himself._  
_“It wouldn’t work out anyway.” “Not if you’re not trying to work it out!” Yama answered fully expecting to be told to shut up again. But the reaction he actually got shocked him even more._  
_“I’m sorry.”_  
_He didn’t manage to find any more words to say before the beeping announced that the middle blocker had ended the call._

 

He missed Tsuki’s voice, as the callouts echoed through the hall. “One Touch!” “Up!” “Nice receive!” There were a lot of familiar faces on the court, not all of them on the same side of the net. “Nice Kill!”  
He hadn’t told anyone he was going to come to see the match though.

 

 _ **He** hadn’t told Tsuki he was coming for a visit. They hadn’t talked since that call, not for Yamaguchi’s lack of trying though. He hesitated before knocking on the door of the small apartment. He knew Tsuki had a roommate, he had never talked much about him though._  
_When the door was opened a moment later a dark voice in his head told him, that he had just figured out why._  
_“Oya?”, the crooked smile and messy hair were unmistakable._  
_“Ah, Sorry. Is Tsukishima here?” Kuroo’s smile grew a little as he stepped aside. “Sorry, Sorry, He didn’t mention you were coming, too. He’s still out with Aki-ni.” Yamaguchi didn’t enter. “I didn’t tell him” Yama said because lying really wasn’t worth it. Kuroo’s eyes grew a little sharper._  
_“Oya, Oya? This is getting more interesting by the minute”, there was a teasing tone to the older’s voice. He raised a brow, at the younger hesitating. “You wanna wait inside or what?”_  
_Yama was about to step inside when he stopped himself again. “I don’t want to bother you…”_  
_“No worries. A friend of Tsuki is a friend of mine” The cat said with a inviting gesture and an ambiguous smile. The younger tried not to frown at the use of the nickname._  
_Yama felt like he was entering the cage of a panther, as Kuroo closed the door behind him._  
_“Feel right at home”, Kuroo purred stepping past the brunette and leading the way to the living room. It was tidy and there was a futon set in one corner, presumably because Akiteru would be staying over. He felt Kuroo’s eyes digging into his back as he moved to take a seat on a worn down armchair he had seen on far too many pictures._

 

He felt the itching sensation that someone was watching him and though hesitant, it finally got him to let his eyes look around. Kuroo was off on the sidelines, slim eyes locking on to Yama and giving a lopsided smile before winking.  
Yama’s cheeks turned pink and he averted his gaze.

 

 _ **“So…”** Kuroo said, leaning on an armrest, “...can I get you something?” “Just water… Thanks” Yamaguchi said taking a deep breath and trying to relax a little. He would just make sure Tsuki knew he wasn’t mad. Madly heartbroken at first, sure, but he had worked through that. He knew Tsukishima too well to not know there was something behind this he wouldn’t share unless directly confronted._  
_When the older came back he placed a can of beer in front of Yamaguchi and dropped down on the couch across the table. Yama gave him an irritated look. “It’s mostly water”, Kuroo deflected unreadable expression set in place. He had brought a beer for himself too. “Plus, you looked like could need it.” The cat added after taking the first sip of his own drink. Yamaguchi frowned but took the can hesitantly opening it. He didn’t even like beer, it was too bitter…_  
_“So… uhm… how did you… end up living with Tsuki?”_

 

Yamaguchi wasn’t surprised that Tuski had surpassed Kuroo and was in the starting lineup. After he had managed to finally truly defeat the ‘Just a Club’-mentality the blond had started to grow stronger faster than anyone on Karasuno. He had even become the captain in their last year. Yamaguchi had stopped playing after high school, he wouldn’t be able to keep up and pursue his other goals… but he had encouraged Tsuki to keep at it. There weren’t many things he had seen his friend passionate about, happy even. He had been sure Tsuki could make it… and he had.  
He also was pretty sure that without his relentless support and a little pushing, Tsuki wouldn’t be here right now. He would have taken the easy route… finish studying in Sendai, find a office Job, maybe a wife… Tsuki had always been someone preferring the path of least resistance.  
Seeing him on the court right now, Yama was glad he had challenged him to do more than that, though it brought him close to tears. It had been the right thing, but it had also been the thing driving them apart.

 

 _ **Tsuki** closed the door behind them. “What are you doing here?” Yama stared at the interior of the room, Tsuki’s room. He only knew it from pictures. “I wanted to talk to you.”_  
_“There’s nothing to say” Tsukishima deflected but the way his jaw was locked tight and his eyes frozen over told Yama that was far from the truth. There was something wrong but without a good clue on what it was, there was no way to get Tsuki to talk about it. It stung. After everything he had done for Tsuki, everything he would have been ready to do, it stung really, really bad. “Well I have things to say…” He said through clenched teeth._  
_He was trembling and instead of talking he ended up crossing the distance between them and pulling Tsuki down into a desperate kiss. His chapped lips clashing onto Tsuki’s with more force than was entirely comfortable. Yama felt like he forgot to breath for the entire moment. The taller didn’t resist, though he easily could have; he even faintly returned the kiss raising Yama’s hope of things going back to how they had been before this, not even a month ago._  
_When he let go, Tsuki straightened up again taking a deep breath and Yama just leaned against him for a peaceful moment. Then he found himself pressed against the wall… Tsukis eyes were closed as his lips trailed Yamaguchi’s throat, his jaw still too stiff. “Tsukki…” Yama sighed closing his eyes and trying to keep his voice down. The taller stopped like he’d just been slapped. He made a shaky intake of air and took a step back, a hurt look in his eyes. Yamaguchi felt a painful emptiness where his hands had just been and an even worse burn, were his lips had touched him. He was unable to comprehend what was happening._  
_“This doesn’t change anything.” Tsuki crushed that moment of hope and with it Yamaguchi’s heart. He took another step back. “I’m sorry.” Tsuki said, eyes glued to the floor._

 

It was rare to see true emotion on Tsukishima’s face, but when his former teammates, now part of team Sendai, started taking the lead in the third set after losing the first two, Yama saw the open anger. Tsuki was facing Kageyama at the net, a forced smile staring at the setter’s stoic concentration.  
“Nice Serve, Bokuto!” Tsukishima yelled, a provocative smirk spreading on his face. His voice carried up to Yamaguchi easily. It made his heart clench to see his friend like that.  
This wasn’t their home crowd but the cheering for the Tokyo Ace was deafening anyway. It was how the owl liked it.

 

 _ **Yama** left the apartment not looking at anyone on his way out. He didn’t slam the door, because that wasn’t like him. He was halfway down the stairs when he heard steps hurrying after him. Tears had started blurring his view and he barely noticed how his feet slowed down clinging to the faint hope it was Tsuki._  
_It wasn’t though. “Hey, Hey, Freckles-kun! What’s…” Kuroo stopped as he felt the trembling under the hand he just placed on Yamaguchi’s shoulder. Yama flinched away. “You know… suddenly a lot of things start to make a lot of sense.” Kuroo said, not making any sense to Yamaguchi, especially not with that smile still on his face. That guy was irritating. “I’d rather be alone right… “ “Nonsense”, Kuroo stopped him put an arm around his shoulders and started moving them down the stairs._  
_“Come on Freckles-kun, let’s take a walk.”_  
_“My name’s Yamaguchi.” Yama corrected him, because he was running low on tolerance for people. He didn’t resist though, he didn’t really care to._  
_“Kuroo. Nice to meet you.” The cat gave his cocked grin not letting go of him._  
_“We met in high school…” Yamaguchi huffed._  
_Kuroo’s eyes tightened, calculating. “I know.”_

 

They lost the third set, the home team cheering over the little victory. Kuroo gave Tsuki a rough clap on the shoulder before pulling him closer. Yamaguchi had about a second to think about hiding when Kuroo gestured in his direction. Why the hell would he do that?  
Tsukishima’s eyes snapped onto him and widened. Yamaguchi wanted to look away, but he couldn’t. Why would Kuroo risk the match by breaking Tsuki’s concentration like that?  
The start of set four answered his question.  
Tsuki wasn’t on the court, instead he stood on the sidelines, sneaking looks at Yamaguchi that made their eyes meet so often, that Yama’s face soon resembled a strawberry, especially with the freckles as detail.

 

_**After** a round around the block he understood a lot of things, but it still hurt that he had to hear them from Kuroo. It hurt that apparently Tsuki hadn’t told him some quite important stuff and though Yama figured it had been done to protect his feelings, he didn’t appreciate it. Not with how it made things turn out. Not with how Tsuki had pushed him away.  
“Now, you’re staying over I guess? Trains aren’t exactly frequent at this hour…” Kuroo broke the silence that had taken over on their way back. “I can take a hostel or something, it’s no prob…” “Nonsense”, Kuroo said waving him off. “Our place is packed, I guess…” Yama frowned at the thought of spending the night there anyway. He didn’t exactly want to face Tsuki again right now. “Wow… don’t make a face like that… That’s seriously scary.” Kuroo commented laughing it off. “What I’m trying to say is… There’s a few of our guys living nearby, I’m sure I can find someone to take you in.” “You make me sound like a lost puppy.” Kuroo laughed, he seemed to do that a lot. “Well I better not ask Kenma then, he’s more of a cats person.” Yama’s mouth gaped open for a moment before he shook his head and smiled. He could see why Tsuki and Kuroo got along. It made him wonder though. _

 

Bokuto was the first to serve, the ball going down untouched. The crowd joined the owl in his cheering, starting a service ace streak of three points until Noya got the ball up. They all had improved significantly since their highschool days. Tokyo scored their fifth point before a feint from Kageyama finally sent the ball down on their side of the net.  
Akaashi was setting for Tokyo, most likely because of his great synergy with their ace. Those two had been scary opponents five years ago and Yama was glad he wasn’t on the opposite side of the court right now.  
Naturally Sendai’s first server was Kageyama. It wouldn’t be easy to stop his serve either…  
Yama glimpsed at Tsuki for just a second, but their eyes met again. Tsuki’s mouth opened, like he wanted to say something, not that Yama would have heard any of it from up here.

 

 _ **Kuroo’s** way of knocking was more akin to smashing. “Hey, Bo! ‘Kashi! You decent? I need to ask a favor.” Kuroo was about to dig a key out of his pocket when Yama was still wondering if he had heard right. Before the cat could find it, the door opened and Akaashi’s stoic gaze eyed Kuroo before trailing to Yamaguchi. “Bokuto-san, put on some pants, Kuroo-san brought a guest”, the unfazed setter relayed, keeping them at the door with a polite expression that would have been friendly, if it wasn’t for the lack of a smile. “I’m very sorry for disturbing you…” Yamaguchi muttered, “my name’s…” “Yamaguchi!”, Kuroo finished for him looking inappropriately proud of himself, “from Karasuno.” _  
Akaashi gave a recognizing nod. “Good to meet you again, Yamaguchi-san.” “Akaashi-san” Yama thanked with a small bow.  
“Gosh, you two are a great match…” Kuroo muttered under his breath. Something fell to the ground inside the apartment and there was a vaguely familiar voice shouting an excuse, before the resident owl made it to the door. “Bro! Oh… you’re a Karasuno guy, right? That Pinch server? You still play?” Akaashi had mindfully moved to the side, before Bokuto’s sheer enthusiasm could smash him into the wall. Yama shook his head. “Too bad”, the owl hooted but waved them inside anyway. “So, what’s up Bro?” Akaashi closed the door turning to Yamaguchi for a moment. “Sorry. There’s no calming him down, please get used to it.” “O… Ok.” Yamaguchi answered a little overwhelmed by the happenings of the overall day.  
_He had just come here to talk to Tsuki._

 

The game went into the fifth set after Sendai evened the score by winning the deuce four balls in.  
Tsuki had started warming up again when the fourth set had started closing in. That meant he would be on the court again for the next one. To Yama’s surprise Kuroo would be too, switching out one of their wing spikers and taking a more defensive setup. And hell it was effective. For the first 8 points for Tokyo Sendai barely knew how to deal with it, only taking 2 points for balls that landed out.Their attacks didn’t get through a single time, Kuroo and Tsuki high fiving for each block, with matching smiles on full display.  
Yamaguchi couldn’t help but smile too, as Sendai subbed in Hinata for Ushijima, the taller nodding down. It was still impressive to see how much smaller Hinata was and he still managed to compete in the U30 prefecture representative finals.    
The sun and the moon locked eyes through the net for a split second, Tsukishima frowning as Hinata’s smile shone bright as always. Yama saw Kuroo and Tsuki exchanging a few quick words before Akaashi’s serve was up.

 

 _ **Kuroo** headed home about an hour later. Yama wasn’t exactly fond of Bokuto’s invasive nature but he started to like Akaashi. He remembered Tsuki talking about their training in gym 3 briefly. This was the squad wasn’t it?_  
_Akaashi put Bokuto to bed at half past twelve. There was really no other way to describe the scene, since the setter basically had to push the owl into his room under heavy verbal protest. Yamaguchi was sure Bokuto could have stopped any attempt at that in a blink, if he really wanted to; but as Yama heard him ask for a good night kiss in a less than subtle manner, he felt his cheeks heat up again. Kuroo had planned this, he concluded just then. Yamaguchi made a mental note to never trust the cat again and erase all positive remarks about him from his memory._  
_When Akaashi left Bokuto’s room again there was an awkward moment of silence, that lasted until the older had wiped the hint of a fond smile and lasting blush off his face. “I’m very sorry. Bokuto-san doesn’t have an indoor voice.”_  
_“Not true!” said voice sounded through the closed door. Akaashi frowned a little._  
_“I’ll get you a futon.”_  
_“Oh I can take the couch, it’s all right…” Akaashi stopped in his tracks and looked around the room as if counting the amount of work that would save him. “If you insist, I’d be very thankful.” “No problem, Akaashi-san. I’m very sorry for the inconvenience. Thank you for taking me in on short notice.”_  
_Akaashi’s mouth gave something that might have been the preliminary stage of a smile. “I’ll get you a blanket then and retreat if you don’t mind. If you need anything please just feel at home.” Yama blushed a little but Akaashi either didn’t notice or he just didn’t mind. “Uhm… Akaashi-san”, he said lowering his voice a little, because he didn’t exactly want Bokuto to hear. “May I ask a private question?” Akaashi turned back to him and nodded in the same unreadably patient grace he handled Bokuto with._

 

The oddball combo hadn’t lost its edge yet. Even though Tokyo knew exactly what to expect, it took them three tries to adjust to the freak duo, evening out the score at 10:10 eventually. The strain on the players was obvious and the tension in the stadium contagious.  
Yamaguchi gripped the railing a little tighter. He had friends on both sides of the court. For Tsuki that had changed somehow, somewhere. And the reasons went beyond him not liking their former teammates all that much.  
This was more than a final for him, it was personal, it wouldn’t have affected Tsuki like this. And there was a lot at stake for everyone on this court. Most everyone of the players hoped to fetch a spot on the team that would be representing Japan in the upcoming olympics in their home stadium. And the chances weren’t that bad. Yama wondered if Tsuki would be able to play the way he did now, with any other team. The synergie between the gym 3 squad was something else entirely.  
Well, he could wonder all he wanted, as far as Tsukishima knew, Yamaguchi still had no clue about anything and it made Yama sigh a little.

 

 _ **Kuroo** came by the next morning, letting himself in and greeting Yama briefly before disappearing into the kitchen like it was his own. A few minutes later Yamaguchi heard something sizzling in a pan and a vaguely familiar smell seeping into the rest of the apartment. He remembered Tsuki mentioning his roomates pancakes and the awful puns that Tsuki presumed were the only real reason he liked to make them. Knowing said roommate a little better now he got why that was probably true._  
_“Broooo~ahhhw…” A yawn sounded through the flat and a moment later Bokuto left his room still only in his boxers. Yamaguchi would have pretended to still be asleep but he guessed that wouldn’t be very believable considering Bokuto’s morning voice probably even got the neighbors out of their beds. “Good morning, Bokuto-san.”_  
_“I told you don’t leave him with Akaashi for too long… now we’ll have to exorcize that habit again.” Kuroo chimed in from the kitchen. Yamaguchi went on to fold the blanket Akaashi had given him and stack it onto the armrest of the couch. Bokuto dropped down on the opposite side getting more comfortable than Yama could be in boxers around people he’d been friends with for years. “Morning, Yamaguchi. Didn’t ‘Kashi get the futon?” He greeted obviously ignoring Kuroo’s comment._  
_“It’s fine, your sofa’s very comfortable. I didn’t want to cause unnecessary trouble.” He gave a shy smile and sat down as far away from Bokuto as possible, mostly because he felt that was the decent thing to do after the talk he had had with Akaashi the previous night. There was some muffled sound from the setter’s room signaling he was up and Yamaguchi seriously hoped he would hurry to join them, because he didn’t want to be alone with these two for too long… or really at all. Bokuto got fidgety too, his movements vibrating through the seat, not exactly making Yama more comfortable._  
_The second Akaashi’s door started opening Bokuto jumped towards him, really only prevented from falling by Akaashi’s immovability. The scene had that feeling of unstoppable force versus immovable object, who would have thought they’d work so well together._  
_Akaashi caught his boyfriend in an awkward hug, an almost-smile on his face. “I missed you ‘Kashi!” The owl hooted and proceeded to complain about how unfair it was that he had to sleep in his own room, in what Yamaguchi supposed was his version of a whisper. It was still louder than Yachi’s indoor voice. Yama smiled at the scene though, he felt like he kinda understood a little better._  
_“Bokuto-san, did you let the stray cat in again.” Akaashi asked with a stern look._  
_“No! He was already here when I woke up…” Bokuto said that as if it would make the whole thing ok, or even remotely more acceptable in any way. Akaashi frowned, understandably so. That’s when Kuroo brought in two plates full with stacked pancakes. “Now seee… I made us breakfast. I’m a nice burglar” The setter raised a brow and held out a hand towards the unwanted guest. Kuroo acted oblivious and placed one of the plates on it.  “Just don’t try to catch a ball with it.” He winked. Bokuto laughed loud enough for all of them. Akaashi just rolled his eyes and extended a second hand. Kuroo eyed the second plate for a moment but seemed to dislike the danger of not getting a share of his own pancakes, so he handed over the spare key that had ‘somehow’ ended up in his possession._

 

The game went back and forth, not really going anywhere. Sendai was in the lead 14-13, but it was time for Hinata’s serve and while he had improved over the years, his height would probably never allow him to serve as good as most of the taller players. It was surprising to see the ball hit the net though. Hinata stared at his hand, like it had betrayed him, while some of his teammates came to give him a friendly slap and an exhausted “Don't mind”.  
Deuce again.  
Even from the ranks Yama could see the light trembling in Bokuto’s legs. He had been on the court without a break. Kageyama and Akaashi had been too, but they didn’t have to move quite as much as the owl did. Tsuki and Kuroo seemed fine but Hinata was basically fresh out of warm up and just getting started. It was hard to tell who had the advantage. The obligatory timeout ticked down with both teams restoring as much energy as they could.  
Yama's and Tsuki's eyes met once, the brunette looking away quickly, because he really didn't want to be the distraction that cost his friend the game.

 

 _ **After** breakfast Akaashi made the two others clean up, while he offered to walk Yamaguchi to the station. There was a lot of complaining from Bokuto but Kuroo eventually shut him up, by secretively whispering something into his ear and Bokuto replying with a loud “Ah” even though his mouth was only a few inches away from Kuroo's ear. “Thank you for your hospitality, Bokuto-san, Kuroo-san.” Yamaguchi gave a small nod to the duo before leaving the apartment followed by Akaashi._  
_They left the building in silence._  
_“If you'd like to try talking to Tsukishima-san once more I could also take you there.” Akaashi offered as they reached the street. Yama appreciated that Akaashi hadn’t brought that up in Kuroo’s presence._  
_Yama allowed himself to stall, looking around for a moment. In the light of day everything around here looked very different. He was glad to have someone with him who knew his way around. “Thank you Akaashi”, Yamaguchi said wasting half a thought on adding the -san again but eventually figuring he took to long anyway. “But I don't think it would be any good. Your outlook on things really helped though, thank you again for being so open.” “It's no big deal, please feel free to contact me if you need to talk.” Yamaguchi's cheeks heated up a little. He had never had anyone to talk to about things like that… He had heartfelt talks with Yachi but that was something entirely different. Akaashi had given him his number after they had talked half the night. He must have figured that Yama had a lack of like minded people in his life._  
_They parted ways in front of the station. And as Yamaguchi entered the building finally on his own again he felt the whole weight of his decision on his shoulder. He had been entirely reliant on Tsuki for quite a while now and it wasn't healthy. It had been weird to be compared to Bokuto of all people, but thinking about Akaashi's judgement Yama found himself agreeing more and more. There were obvious parallels in their relationships though, if Yama was to judge, the power balance between Akaashi and Bokuto seemed more even than he and Tsuki ever were._  
_Maybe being apart for a while would be for the best, though Yamaguchi had no doubt in the world that it would hurt like hell._

 

It had hurt like hell; it still did, but at least now Yamaguchi knew he would be able to deal with it. If for some reason Tsuki really didn't want him in his life, he'd go home, cry his eyes out and finally start to really recover, maybe even move on. During the last year and a half he had tried to entertain the thought of a life without Tsuki and he couldn't despite the fact he was basically already living it.  
Yamas heart started beating faster but it had nothing to do with the game moving on in a tense fight for every point. The score was up to 18-17 for Tokyo and it was thanks to Tsuki's serve.  
Yama had tried to help Tsuki with training his serves in their last year in high school. He had told him about entertaining a serving routine to get into the right mind, imagining what he was aiming for and blending out the rest… He saw Tsuki applying all of it and felt his heart fill with pride.  
However this day ended, Yamaguchi had no need for regret.

 

 _ **Yama** regretted not taking another shot at talking with his ex-boy- and best friend as soon as he faced the loneliness and uneasy silence in the train that would be taking him home. It would be two hours of sitting there, trapped with his own thoughts and it would not do him any good either. The best possible outcome he could imagine then and there was the very real possibility of crying himself to sleep sooner rather than later._  
_The tears were already rising when he felt his phone buzz In his pocket. He sighed. There were really only two people that texted him and one of them had ignored every approach at communication he had taken. It wouldn’t do good to ignore Yachi though. When he checked the screen his eyes kept stuck to the still unfamiliar name for a moment. It was just a text._  
_“Bokuto-san and Kuroo-san demand that I tell you, you can stay over again, if you ever planned to come by. You'd be very welcome. Also Kuroo-san is asking for your number… I'd advise you against giving it to him though, unless you like cat-memes.”_  
_“Thank you Akaashi, I’d be glad if the chance ever came up again. You can give Kuroo my number, it’s fine.” Plus the cat would try to get it anyway and probably succeed, too._  
_And that’s how Yama ended up becoming friends with Tsuki’s friends. But no longer with Tsuki._

 

Tsukishima’s second serve was received by Nishinoya and set for Hinata, but Kuroo was there for the block. The smaller chose to rebound, and though Kuroo’s attempt at smacking the ball down set it off a little, Daichi was there to hit it back up. Kageyama got second touch but by the time Hinata was able to spike again Kuroo was back for another block attempt, too. It send the the ball flying off of Kuroo’s fingertips. “One touch”, echoed through the hall and all three backline players sprinted after the ball… to no avail.  
18-18  
Tsuki helped Bokuto to his feet, who had tried to dive for the recieve. Akaashi patted his shoulder saying something to the owl that made him give a determined nodd. “Next one!” Bokuto beamed across the court, clapping his hands and getting back in position.  
Hinata would be in the front line again.

 

 _ **Yama** found himself at Yachi’s doorstep instead of his own. He was still fresh from the station, but he really didn’t feel like being alone right now… and it wasn’t like he had to be. He had friends beside Tsuki, he’d just never relied on them like he had on his best friend. _  
_“That’s probably Tada…”, Yamaguchi heard Yachi’s voice from inside. “I’ll get it!” He had send her a message and she had warned him that Hinata was home,( but of course he could come). It didn’t come as a shock to see the redhead open the door._  
_Other than that Hinata was uncharacteristically quiet that evening, while Yamaguchi told Yachi about what had happened and what he had found out. Of course Kuroo didn’t really know the whole story either but putting their perspectives together things fell into place quite easily and Yachi’s comforting presence was very appreciated in dealing with all of it._

 

The match ended 22-20 with both sides barely still on their feet. It was hard to distinguish between faces drenched in sweat and those flooded with tears, mostly because even some of the winners were crying after the exhaust that had been this finale.  
Yamaguchi left the stands on numb legs, hands fidgeting with the hem of his shirt as he fought against the urge to throw his plans into the wind and run away.  
It wasn’t like back in the high school tournaments where people could pretty much walk up to the entrance to the hall without anyone stopping them. The locker rooms and showers were locked behind a big door featuring the logo of the Sendai city arena. And Yamaguchi only grew more nervous waiting in front of it…  
He should have suspected he wouldn’t go unnoticed though.  
“Tadashi?”, a familiar voice called over closing in on him with a unsure smile. “Hey, Yachi” He answered trying not to look too nervous and failing miserably.  
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” The girls said with an unsure smile. Usually Tadashi told her anything…

 

 _ **Tsuki** had had enough of surprise visits after what went down last weekend. This one he just wanted to sit home and dwell in self pity. Turned out some force in the universe was against it though._  
_He was fully set to ignore anything short of a apocalypse warning, maybe even that, when his phone rang with an unknown number. He rarely got any calls at all. There was a high probability it was some fishing attempt trying to convince him he had won a trip to some dream island. He didn’t need a dream island, he just needed his room, his headphones and his roommate not to disturb him. That was his idea of a perfect holiday. And with Kuroo being out with Bokuto and Akaashi for a weekend trip, he’d had a real chance at getting it for once..._  
_Then the phone rang again showing the same number. Despite his best intentions his curiosity got the better of him. “Tsukishima Kei”, He answered the phone and almost ended the call the second he recognized the voice on the other side._  
_“Hi. Sorry to disturb you… It’s Hinata… “_

 

Hinata was one of the first people to come through the door, Kageyama trailing behind him looking immensely refreshed, his hair still dripping wet. Yachi squeaked and jumped her boyfriend nuzzling her nose into the red hair and for a second an immense pang of envy hit Yamauchi. Even if things turned out well, he might never be able to be like that with…  
“Congratulations!” Yachi beamed pressing a kiss on Hinata’s forehead before he sat her down. “Great game, you guys!” Yama said with a forced smile. He was happy for them, but he might just have cheered a little harder for their enemy team.  
Either of them deserved the win anyway.  
“Thanks, Tadashi”, Hinata replied with a smile that had the potential to blind people. “Want to join us and the guys for the celebration? Kageyama isn’t using his plus one anyway, so there’s space…”  
“Oi, Boke! I had a girlfriend.” The mentioned protested “Don’t make it sound like I…”  
Hinata turned to his teammate and silenced him by putting a hand on his shoulder with a serious face. “Kageyama, that was a volleyball, just because you put a wig on it doesn’t make it a person.” Hinata jumped away laughing, avoiding Kageyama’s attempt at smacking him for the jab. After playing all match long there was no way for him too keep up with the comparatively unchallenged spiker.  
“Sorry, I already have plans” Yamaguchi had to decline smiling lightly at the shenanigans of the duo. Yachi gave him a sympathetic smile in return. “Too bad… maybe another time” Hinata said avoiding the next attempted attack from Kageyama. The setter gave up with a dissatisfied huff. “Let’s get going then…” he didn’t wait for the couple to join him and just went ahead. “Goodbye Yamaguchi.” Yama gave a wave at the setter’s departure. Hinata came back to take Yachi’s hand, giving a quick goodbye as well.  
“Good luck”, the girl said in a low tone before letting herself be dragged off.  
He sure hoped he didn’t need it.  
Kuroo just gave him a reassuring pad on the shoulder as he trailed off beside Akaashi, who was occupied by comforting Bokuto but gave him a court nod of recognition. Their shoulders hung low as they went their way.  
He congratulated Daichi as he walked past.  
Noya almost jumped past him, missing his former teammate in his anticipation for the celebration. They were getting barbeque as it seemed.   ~~*~~

 

 _ **Tsukishima** knew his friends were planning to have barbeque that weekend, but made plans with Akiteru anyway. They acted like he didn’t know, but he wasn’t entirely stupid. If he stayed away Yamaguchi could come and spend time with his friends without worrying about him. Their friends… Tsuki wasn’t sure how it happened, but he had seen a notification on Kuroo’s phone by accident a couple of months ago and it suddenly started to answer a few question Tsuki hadn’t cared to actually ask._  
_He told himself he didn’t care. He didn’t even like the barbeques. Kuroo always tried to make him eat more than he thought humanly possible and it always ended in some kind of chaos. But simply because he felt that obligation not to go he had that strange urge to do so for the hell of it. It was pathetic._  
_Him staying away was the best for all of them._  
_And that’s why he would do it._  
_Hinata had told him Yamaguchi wanted some space after all. And Tsuki had done all this so that he could move on. This was what he wanted. He wouldn’t stop Yamaguchi from moving on._

 

Tsuki was the last player to leave, eyes fixed on the floor, but from his slightly lower angle Yamaguchi could still see the puffy red ring surrounding them.  
“Tsukishima”, he made himself noticed, stunning the other in place and drawing those already hurt eyes onto himself. It was obvious that Tsukishima was trying to steal himself and part of his face manage to freeze over with that protective mask… His eyes didn’t though, they just stared back at him, tired, exhausted. “Can we talk?”  
Tsukishima’s shoulders stiffened. “What are you doing here anyway.” Tsuki still had that same way of trying to mock people by keeping his voice as flat has humanly possible. Yama knew why he did it, he wasn’t falling for it anymore.  
“I have that friend… He just had a very important volleyball match, so I thought I’d check it out.” Yamaguchi said more laid back than he had ever been, even around Tsuki. Also, maybe Kuroo had started to rub off on him. He fully expected to hear their old catchphrase, but Tsuki just huffed. “I’m not mad at you, Tsukki...shima.” Yama added the second syllable on an afterthought “I just want to… talk things out so we can be... something again.”  
Tsuki’s face twitched. “I thought you wanted to get some space…”  
Yama’s brows furrowed. “Why would you think that? You ended things. I even tried to... “ Yama had to take a breath to calm himself before he would contradict his own words by getting mad. “I decided to let you have your space after… I needed to figure some things out, too.” Tsuki relaxed a little, his face almost looking like it used too. Kuroo had been right though, Tsuki looked like he had lost some weight.  
“Hinata called and tried to apologize. It was pathetic.” The blond clicked his tongue sending an intent look towards his former friend. And giving another huff as he saw the confusion on Yamaguchi’s face. “Hinata? What has he got to do with it?”  
Tsuki’s eyes locked on straight ahead, his jaw stiffening a little. “Let’s go somewhere else.”

 

 _ **It** was the final day of the week long training camp, that the Sendai coaches held for the potential new recruits. Tsuki was longing for some quiet again after spending the week stacked with his least favourite teammates from high school and a couple other people he found quite annoying after spending a day training with them._  
_They had wrapped up training though and were headed to their last joined meal. He had a good feeling about this. There weren’t many other middle blockers and the Sendai team had always been weak on their defense. He would be the obvious choice to fill that gap, of course Hinata was technically a middle blocker too, but his defense was not the reason a team would choose him, if it happened at all. Kageyama was there too and considering Oikawa was leaving to go abroad, he had already pretty much secured his spot. It would be a pain to play with him again, but…_  
_“Hey, Tsuki! How’s your boyfriend? You’ve been avoiding us all week!”, Hinata blurted out  taking a free spot across the table, utterly oblivious to the reaction he caused in the room. To their credit, many of the players just looked away unfazed, some even spend an empathetic look before focussing on their food again. But the only reaction that really mattered were the eyes of the coach suddenly focussed on Tsukishima. It wasn’t quite disgust, but Tsuki saw that frown people showed when those leftovers they had really looked forward to had turned bad a day faster than expected. If he hadn’t known Hinata for years he’d have thought it was a calculated move._  
_He couldn’t quite shake the thought, but he knew it was hilarious._  
_Hinata’s words just now might have limited his career choices forever, and what made Tsukishima even more angry was that the guy seemed to have no clue what he just did, chattering on without a clue._  
_Tsuki waited a few moments until the awkward atmosphere had passed and then excused himself without as much as a goodbye. He had thanked every deity that came to mind for the fact that they had private rooms as he retreated and left the same evening, even though they had been invited to stay another night. He hadn’t planned to stay anyway, but now his departure felt less like an early retreat and more like running away._

 

Yamaguchi fought the urge to run, as Tsukishima sat down in the chair across the hotel room he occupied while staying in Sendai. He could have stayed with his family and driven over for the matches but it was easier to keep his head in the game when he was with his team; as obnoxious as they tended to be. And the hotel was right next to the city arena, so it was convenient.  
It was the most convenient place to go. Yamaguchi knew but being alone with Tsuki like this woke some of the memories he had fought to keep in check ever since that day in Tokyo. He focused on listening to Tsukishima.  
He had never heard the blond talk this much in his entire life. He had never seen him crushed like this in his entire life. Yamaguchi tried to remind himself that it wasn’t just him. Tsuki had lost an important game. And he was pushing him to talk… Things were just adding up...

 

 _ **“See,** I told you it would be fine. Coach already loves you” Kuroo said hanging onto Tsukishima’s shoulder, his wet hair dripping onto Tsuki’s clothes. Also the cat was still not wearing a shirt. The only reason Tsuki didn’t complain was that Kuroo was basically the only reason he had gotten the chance for a tryout at the Tokyo U30. “Now, the guy’s and I wanted to go out tonight… Wanna join us.” Tsukishima gringed a little, but agreed with a shrug. Building a good relationship with the team was essential if he wanted this to work out; he’d made a good impression but it was not like the team needed another middle blocker. It was kind of his last shot at this. He had taken tryouts in most of Tohoku and Tokyo was as far as he was willing to go from home, from Yama. “Let us show you how we have fun in Tokyo”, Kuroo blurted and a few of the team members still in the locker room cheered, most notably a certain owl spiker. _  
_He was surprised to see Akaashi joining them too, when Kuroo and Bokuto basically dragged him through the streets. He just didn’t seem like the type. There were a few other teammates that ended up stopping at different bars and clubs along the way, spreading the group thin. “Hey, Hey, Bo, wanna go to THAT kind of club?” Kuroo said with a smirk that Tsuki didn’t like a single bit. Bokuto threw a look at Akaashi who shrugged and in doing so signed Tsuki’s fate. Ten minutes later they stood in front of a strip club._  
_Tsuki’s throat went dry. He clicked his tongue, trying to play it cool by applying a generous portion of that unfazed smirk on his face._  
_“Ah… The joy of being single”, he said mocking the way Kuroo liked to express himself at times. He earned himself a slap against the shoulder, that was hard enough to make him flinch. “No way. Bo, Bro, can you believe it? Tsuki has a girlfriend!” Tsuki swallowed down the words and the blush threatening to betray him. “I wouldn’t want to keep you from having your fun though…” he tried to get out of the situation entirely. “Nonsense!” Kuroo said, dragging him on toward a normal bar just across the street. “I’ll manage without the ladies for a night. I wanna hear all about the girl that managed to break your steel heart, though. Maybe I’ll come and steal her away with my irresistible charme.” Tsuki kept his poker face up, because that’s what he did best._  
_He couldn’t help picturing Kuroo trying to seduce Yamaguchi though._

 

“I tried, ok? I tried just hiding it, like... “ “Like Akaashi and Bokuto”, Yamaguchi finished the sentence for him, as Tsuki ran out of words, probably getting stuck on the thought if it would be alright to tell, just on the off chance Yama didn’t know already. He saw Tsuki’s eyes fill with tears, his face still locked in that desperately unmoved expression. He had never seen his friend so helpless. He had never seen Tsukishima more helpless than himself. Yes, there had been moments, stubborn moments, he had had to push his friend to take the right path, but this was different.  
“I couldn’t. It was so pathetic, getting teased about a ‘girlfriend’ that never came to visit me… when it was true. I just… I…” “Tsukki…” Yamaguchi tried to comfort him from afar not entirely sure if it would be okay to go over, even though he knew on those rare occasions searching contact had always helped his friend best. The blond pulled the glasses from his face setting them down on the table with a little more force than necessary and tried to rub the tears from his eyes while he kept talking. “I told them I broke up… of course next time they went to that club again there was no real excuse not to go with them. And I tried… But it made everything worse.. I called you the day after. And… And... “ Tsuki’s voice grew thin and it finally made him fall silent, a small sob escaping his throat as the tears won him over.  
Yamaguchi threw caution into the wind and crossed the distance between them, just gently touching his knee, leaving him space to move away. “Tsukki…”  
“You told me it was a... I couldn’t. I just. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” When the blond didn’t retreat, actually didn’t react to the touch at all, Yamaguchi made a step closer, squeezing his shoulder instead..  
“Tsukki…” He repeated with more determination. It must have looked pathetic, his face wet with tears too and a small trembling chasing his lips. Those piercing golden eyes finally opened to look at him with so much pain in it, it made his heart clench “Shut up, Tsukki.” He said, voice low and fond and… Just gently pulled the other towards him, to give him a hug. Tsuki didn’t resist.

 

 _ **Yamaguchi** ended up staying four nights at Yachi’s place. The girl insisted, after finding out about the brunette crying himself to sleep the first night. She basically threw out Hinata, who was surprisingly supportive of the whole thing and even stocked the fridge for them before leaving to stay at Kageyama’s for a few days. _  
_He went to fetch a few things from home on the second day, but mostly the huddled up in front of the TV and whenever some random thought send Yamaguchi into that pathetic state of crying again, Yachi was there. They talked a lot too._  
_Yama had made the decision of staying away from Tsuki for a while, but Yachi was not willing to let it stand without discussing if it would really be ok. It was a very slow process of Yama actually expecting that it was a good idea. That not making himself depend on Tsuki when he knew he wouldn’t have his help in sorting this out was the right thing to do. And it was always clear it was just until Yamaguchi felt ready or desperate enough to try having that talk again._  
_He still just had those loose dots painting a picture, no real explanation… The reason why, was still in the dark. Not even why Tsukishima didn’t talk about it, because that honestly was just the way he was. But there was still that big question mark on why Tsukishima felt the need to pamper him from whatever had gone down. Sure, he had been protective before, but he’d never tried to shield Yama like that._

 

Tsuki brushed of the tears with the back of his hand in an angry gesture once Yama let go of him again. The brunette crouched low in front of him and Tsukishima would have loved to say something… anything… about how amazing Yamaguchi was right now. “Tsukki… I get it, ok? I get it now.” Yamaguchi took a moment to get rid of the tears still in his eyes, before continuing. “Akaashi and I talked a lot… He told me about the only thing keeping them to push through it was each other. On some days…. probably days like today the only thing really keeping them together is to know they’re there and once they’ll be somewhere private there is nothing keeping them apart anymore.” Yamaguchi had drawn the conclusion Tsuki must have felt a similar desperation after talking through what Kuroo had told him on their walk that night with Yachi.  
“The only thing I don’t understand is… why didn’t you talk to me?... We could have figured things out together.” There was a moment of silence between them, Yamauchi keeping his eyes on his friend as he seemed to search for something to say. When he did so, it came out with a sob, that was still lingering in his throat.  
“I don’t know… It’s so unfair. I was so pathetic.”  
“Tsukki, your feelings aren’t pathetic, stop telling yourself that…” Yamaguchi said, their eyes meeting and the connection lasting for the first time since… too long. The brunette saw the shift in his friends posture. He saw the exact moment that desperate self pity turned into something else.  
“It’s so fucking unfair…”  
Yamaguchi thought about if he had ever heard Tsuki seriously curse in his entire life. “I know but…” Yamaguchi took a deep breath raising a little to put a gentle kiss on Tsukishima’s lips. Not more than a short peck. “Wanna try again… together?”  
Tsuki’s armes closed around him, the kiss he gave back just a moment later enough of an answer.

The morning after, Tsukishima woke up to a decision that had just kinda made itself overnight. He woke up to Yamaguchi curled up at his side and the snoring of a very obnoxious owl sounding through the wall.  
He stopped his thoughts before he could start forming plans, falling back into that trap that had made his last year and a half so miserable. He’d ask Yamaguchi if he was ok with it first thing he woke up. Until then the middle blocker might just be contempt burying his nose in those endlessly familiar mess of brown hair and doze of for another few minutes.  
He smiled to himself.  
Who would have thought him of all people would consider getting into activism.  
Something told him Yamaguchi would love the idea.  
But they’d see.

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a short OS btw... *laughs madly* I hope you liked it, and if not, tell me why, I like improving ;)  
> Kudos are appreciated but I really thrive on commets, so leave some if you have the time :3
> 
>  Sidenote: I did draw out the rotations to check if the plays i described were at least somewhat plausible, though I know no one would have noticed anyway. Wanted to point that out... Please appreciate it >.<
> 
> Also for those who wondered what the * halfway through the story was about... here's an outtake:
> 
> “Wanna come over? We'll be having barbeque next weekend. Bo and ‘Kashi said I should invite you. Tsuki won't be there anyway, he's visiting Aki. And he'd just complain about us urging him to eat anyway.”  
> “You mean about you trying to fatten him?”  
> “Have you seen the guy? It's like he's just skin and bones…”  
> Tadashi hadn’t but from his memory of ‘the guy’ he would have to disagree. He blushed at the thought and had to take a deep breath to refocus. He had enough experience with Kuroo to know the cat would just tease him with implications if he mentioned anything like that. “I'll think about it.”  
> “About Tsuki? I know; but will you come?”  
> Yamaguchi gave an exasperated sigh. There was no escape from this hell. He should have listened to Akaashi when he warned him about letting Kuroo have his number.  
> “Bro, I'm flattered but I don't really swing that way. Can you fantasize later? I was still talking about the Barbeque.” Yamaguchi stopped a split second before his head hit the wall behind him. How had he ended up befriending someone like that? How did Tsuki end up befriending someone like that?  
> “Fine. You won. I'll be there.”  
> “Great. Do you have a cat by the way?”  
> “I will not help you catch a cat to lure in Kenma.”  
> “You’re such a buzzkill… Bo will have to do it again then.”  
> “What makes you think, I won’t rat you out to Akaashi.”  
> “Because I’m a great friend? A nice person?” Kuroo lowered his voice. “Because who knows maybe I’ll rat you out to Tsuki.”  
> “You’re the worst, Kuroo.”  
> “I know, it’s why the girls love me.”  
> “No they don’t.”  
> “Yama, Bro… I’m hurt. Don’t say things like that.”  
> “Things like the truth?”  
> “Oi, Tsuki!” he heard Kuroo raise his voice.  
> “Fine… Fine. I surrender.” Yama held his breath as he tried to catch Tsuki’s voice in the background. Kuroo didn’t bother [discontinued]
> 
> Don't be surprised if you ever read a diffrent story of mine with a painfully similar scene in it... This is too golden to not make it part of something... This wasn't the right story for it though.
> 
> Also if you like the flow of this and don't mind darker settings (and an explicit rating) check this out: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12429639/chapters/28288272  
> It's awesome ;)


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